Focus On…Stress and Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season with Alicia Henderson, PhD, LCSW, Chief of Behavioral Health

The holiday season is not so merry and bright for everyone. For some, this is a time of stress, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and sadness. These emotions are sometimes triggered by family gatherings, financial stress, grief and loss, work deadlines, packed social calendars, the weather, life transitions, and so many other life stressors.

A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 89% of U.S. adults feel stressed during the holiday season, with 41% reporting higher stress levels compared to other times of the year.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) recently reported that 64% of individuals living with a mental health disorder felt that their conditions worsened around the holidays. It is estimated that nearly nine in 10 Americans will report feeling stressed and/or overwhelmed this holiday season.

There are six identified common issues that come up this time of year. With these common issues, you will find tips on how you might best manage your mental health.

1. You’re Lacking the “Holiday Spirit.”

We sometimes refer to the person lacking the holiday spirit as a “Scrooge.” Call it what you want, and please know that you’re not alone in not having the holiday spirit. As noted above, nine in 10 Americans are experiencing the same mood and/or feelings.

What You Can Do About It

• Recognize that you don’t need to force yourself to be happy and acknowledge feelings that aren’t joyful. It’s okay.
• Avoid numbing or avoiding feelings by using food, alcohol, or other substances, which worsen anxiety and depression.
• While it can be enjoyable to see family during the holidays, acknowledge that this might also be stressful. If necessary, take a break from the gathering. Take some time alone if you need it.
• It’s important to understand that triggers for holiday angst come from many sources (i.e. memories, stressful patterns that occur every holiday, or potential new crises).
• You don’t have to celebrate. Do what you enjoy, whether it’s making your favorite dish or watching Netflix.

2. You’re Overwhelmed by Grief and Loss

The holidays can be especially challenging for those who have lost loved ones. Be sure to make space for your grief. Consider changing up your traditions to make your feelings of loss more manageable.

What You Can Do About It

• Allow yourself to acknowledge your loss and grief without dwelling on sad memories. Share happy memories of your lost one to help lessen the grief. It will also include them in the holidays in a positive way.
• If holiday gatherings seem inauthentic to you at this time, do not force yourself to celebrate. Instead, connect with a support group, a therapist, your faith community, or friends who understand.
• As much as possible, let your loved ones know how they can support you. Often, people want to help but don’t know how or what to say.

3. You’re Feeling Stressed and/or Pressured to Participate in Activities

The holiday season is a time of parties and other social gatherings. Remember that you don’t have to do it all. Figure out what you really enjoy versus what you feel you’re supposed to do.

What You Can Do About It

• Aim to set more realistic expectations for yourself and others during the holidays. Don’t over schedule yourself.
• Prioritize the most important activities. Perhaps you schedule get-togethers for after the holidays, learn how to be comfortable saying “NO.”
• Regardless of your plans, communicate intentions to friends and family early in the holiday season so everyone knows what to expect. This will decrease the chances of you feeling stressed or pressured to do anything you don’t want to do.

4. You’re Stressed About Giving Gifts

For many, the holidays are a time of gift giving. This can be a lot of fun, but it can also be financially stressful. Do your best to make a budget and stay within the spending limits that you have set.

What You Can Do About It

• Don’t spend beyond your means. Homemade gifts and baked goods are thoughtful and often appreciated, and making them can become a fun holiday tradition.
• Give yourself the gift of time during the holidays. Set time aside to read, watch a movie, or go for a bike ride.

5. Your Mood is Affected by Lack of Sunlight

It’s that time of year when there’s less exposure to natural light, and for some, this leads to new or increased symptoms of depression. The holidays coincide with winter’s lack of available sunlight.

What You Can Do About It

• Try to get as much sunlight as possible.
• Try to boost your mood and regulate sleep — schedule outdoor exercise in the middle of the day when the sun is brightest. If you can, work near a window throughout the day. Even outfitting your home with warm, bright lighting can help improve your mood.

6. You’re Alone or Feeling Isolated

The feeling of loneliness is magnified for some during the holidays, especially when people no longer have family or they live far away from their families or friends. And if you are predisposed to depression or anxiety, it can be especially hard to reach out to others.

What You Can Do About It

• During those times when you feel alone or isolated, remind yourself of the people, places, and things that make you feel happy.
• Schedule a regular call or video chat with friends on a weekly basis so that you don’t have to think twice about making the effort.
• Find community through your church, clubs, meetups, volunteering, cultural centers, or LGBTQ centers.
• Remember self-care: eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Regularly check in with yourself. Rate your mood from 1 to 10. If it’s low, take a break. Build self-awareness and practice self-care before reaching a breaking point, especially around the holidays.

Seeking Support

If you know that this time of year is typically challenging for you, lean on your friends and family. Talk to them about how you’re feeling and let them help you set boundaries and practice self-care.

If the holidays are long gone and you’re still feeling depressed, anxious, or stressed, or if you’ve been feeling anxious or depressed for more than two weeks, talk to your mental health professional or primary care physician.

If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, help can be reached 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by dialing or texting 988 from a smartphone. You can learn more about the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on their website.

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For support anytime, make an appointment with the Emotional Wellness Center by calling 212-769-7200.